Someone to Hold You
by emmalemon10
Summary: Quinn has always suffered from panic attacks. During a particularly bad one when she just needs someone to hold her through it, someone she least expected will volunteer.
1. Chapter 1

As soon as the final bell rang, Quinn burst out of the classroom, nearly taking a poor little freshman girl out in the process. She really wished that she could care at the moment, but when you feel like all of the air is being pressed out of your lungs, very little can distract you from that. She ran down the hallway, pushing through classmates, even a couple Glee members as she just focused on getting the hell out of that school. Quinn didn't bother stopping at her locker, she couldn't for fear of passing out. So she went started straight to the exit of the building.

She knew what a panic attack was like. Over the past five or six years of her life, Quinn had quite a few of them. At first, they were mostly due to her claustrophobia. Then when she was kicked out of her house after her parents found out she was pregnant with Beth, she had another one in Finn's truck as they made their way across town. She had a couple others here and there over cheerleading, or her mother's drinking. There was also the one she had when the entire school found out about Lucy Caboosey. However none really topped the one she had when Shelby Corcoran blew through town.

Until now at least. And once again, it was because of Shelby. She brought Beth to school that day. She didn't know why- especially since the older woman had deemed Quinn unsuitable to be around the baby- but all Quinn could really register was that her baby was in the same building as her. And she couldn't touch her, or talk to her or even really look at her. Puck of course was flaunting her around. He was able to keep contact with Beth even after the whole "Hot for Teacher" debacle. He wasn't the one that tried to sabotage the woman that was raising his baby.

She knew she was wrong. She did. It may have taken her too long to realize it, but she understood why everyone thought she was crazy. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. It _killed _ her. Beth was the one thing that Quinn felt she could say she was responsible for, and wouldn't be ashamed of. She could never be ashamed of that perfect baby. But she was ashamed of herself. Which is why the thought of being in the same building of the blonde toddler made her feel like her life was crashing down around her all over again.

It was actually seeing Beth that really honestly triggered the mayhem wreaking through her body at the moment. She caught a glimpse of her daughter during lunch. Shelby had been talking to a co-worker and Beth was just looking at Shelby with this adoring look that Quinn just desperately wanted to be towards herself. She wanted Beth to look at her like she was the most important person in her life. She wanted to show off her baby and tell people about all of her milestones and how she was starting to talk and what they had planned for her second birthday. But she wasn't going to get that.

Quinn held it pretty well though. She focused on her sandwich, tried making conversation with Tina and Brittany. But it wasn't until Quinn glanced up again and saw those perfect little eyes staring back at her. Beth smiled, as if recognizing her even just a little and waved. That little wave broke Quinn's heart into a million little pieces.

This attack was a slow build up. For the remaining time in lunch, she felt like her skin was crawling. She casually started scratching the back of her hand, hoping to relieve that sensation. As the next couple class periods she slowly started working her way up her arm. That was around the time she felt the tightness in her chest, and the burning in her eyes as tears formed. By the time the final class period came around, Quinn felt like someone spiked the thermostat and her shoulders shook as she tried to hold on to the little control she had left. She just had to make it to the final when it did, Quinn couldn't have been more glad to throw herself out of that classroom.

She could see the sunshine through the glass doors as she speed her way down the hall. She just had a few more feet to go and she would be home free. She just needed to hold on a moment longer.

"Hey Quinn!"

* * *

><p>Sam heard that Shelby brought the baby to school. He didn't know the whole story about what happened between Shelby and Quinn but he knew enough to know that it was a bit of a low blow on the teacher's part. Even though Shelby was mad at Quinn- she didn't need to flaunt the baby. Puck didn't exactly help with that either.<p>

He kind of kept a close watch on the blonde girl. He happened to walk around the corner when Tina had broken the news to Quinn that Beth was in the school. He'd only seen her face go that white a couple times in the time that he'd known her, and it never lead anywhere good.

He didn't have any classes with Quinn, but they had the same lunch period. They didn't normally sit together- these days he hung out a lot with the Synchronized Swimming team, eating salads and stuff since they were all pretty much on the same diet. He didn't pay attention to his team though. He just kept watching Quinn. Throughout the day he could see her starting to chip away. The stress of just knowing her baby was in the building was killing her, and he knew it. Then Shelby had the swell idea to bring Beth to the cafeteria to chat with a co worker, and it was a bit of a spiral downward after that.

He noticed her staring at the baby- though he could understand why. Not only was that child hers, but Beth looked exactly like her mother. She was perfect just as Quinn had described. Hell, he found it hard himself not to look at the rosy cheeks and this big hazel eyes that matched Quinn's perfectly. His gaze shifted between Quinn and the baby, watching carefully.

When he saw the scratching start, he was immediately worried. He saw her do that once before when they had been dating. She had called him in the middle of the night crying because her mother hadn't gotten home. Judy Fabray had been getting really cozy with bottles of wine lately and it scared the hell out of Quinn when she didn't call or show up on time. He drove over to her, despite the fact that as a minor he wasn't allowed to drive past eleven and he just saw the girl he loved in a massive anxiety attack, scratching at her arms as if it would release all the tension she was feeling.

Though it was only her hands right now, he didn't want to watch her work her way up to that night he held her until the next morning when Judy crawled back into the house. But just as he was going to stand up to check on her, the bell rang and she took off like a bullet.

People would probably ask him why he cared so much, but frankly he didn't think anyone would understand. He never actually stopped loving Quinn Fabray. They ended badly and she cheated on him, but his heart never stopped beating for her. Even when he was with Mercedes. And even now as he tried to win Mercedes back- he was mainly doing it because if he didn't fight for 'Cedes, he would find himself chasing after Quinn and he wasn't sure that was something he could handle. But no matter what, seeing the beautiful blonde starting to crumble made his chest ache and he would do anything to try to ease her anxiety.

That's why, when the final bell rang he shot out of his Algebra class and went searching for her. He hoped that maybe she would have calmed down on her own and that she would be okay, but when he saw a flurry of blonde push past him he knew his hopes were not going to be met. He chased after her, wanting to see if there was anything he could do but she didn't seem to hear him call her over the crowds of people.

"Quinn!" he called out, "Hey, Quinn!"

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: So I was intending this to be a one-shot but as I was writing it I could already tell that it was going to turn into at least three chapters.<strong>

**I basically came up with this because well...thought I like to think that I don't have the same craziness as Quinn we kind of have the same emotional structure. I have panic attacks that sometimes are mild, but other times are a bit crippling. And I tell myself that I just wish someone would just hold me through it and make it go away. That's kind of where I'm going with this.**


	2. Chapter 2

She ignored the voice calling her and burst through the doors, hopping down the steps. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going to go. Maybe under the bleachers, though the Skanks would be there and she didn't want to deal with them. Perhaps to the woods where the cross country trail was. That seemed reasonable and she started sprinting in that direction as she started letting the tears fall. She couldn't completely lose grip just yet though.

She just wanted to escape everything. The pain, the shame, the stares. She just couldn't take it anymore. It was months and months of everything just building up on her and seeing that precious little girl was what did her in. She felt like her heart was going to just burst out of her chest and there wasn't anything that she would be able to do about it. She would just keep running until she couldn't anymore. And when that happened, she would just lie there, hoping that the pain would go away and she wouldn't have to _feel_ anymore.

Back all those months ago when Finn broke up with her at Jean Sylvester's funeral, he asked her if she could feel anything anymore. What Finn didn't know was that she felt _everything._ She felt that ping in her chest every time someone looked her over- convincing herself that they were thinking all sorts of horrible things about her. About how she got pregnant, about how she was a so-called 'serial cheater.' About how everything she did, she managed to hurt people every time. And of course those damned pitying looks that people who didn't even _know_ her gave as they talked about how the baby that Quinn Fabray gave up for adoption was in the school being show off and rubbed in her face.

It was suffocating. Literally. The closer Quinn got to the trail, the more she felt like her lungs were collapsing in on her. She could barely breathe and the crisp February air didn't help that at all. She just couldn't ignore the burning in her chest as she fought herself to remember how to inhale properly.

Just as she reached the edge of the forest when she just let herself drop to the ground. She felt mud splash on her dress and legs but she didn't care. She just sat there screaming in an anguish that no one really seemed to ever be able to understand.

She forgot about the voice that had been chasing after her though, because she suddenly felt strong arms around her and she immediately tried to pull away. She didn't know who it was, she didn't want to know. She just wanted to be left alone to just wallow in her pain.

But after a few moments, she realized that was a lie. She _did_ want to be held. She didn't want to be alone anymore. So she melted into the embrace, but did not by any means calm down. She screamed, and cried and sobbed. She even began punching the figure as if they were a physical representation of everything she was feeling right now.

Eventually, she grew tired. A panic attack took a lot of energy and withing ten minutes she was reduced to lying limply in her rescuer's arms, her face buried into his chest, sobbing and struggling to pull herself back together.

It wasn't until she heard him whisper her name that she realized who it was exactly holding her.

* * *

><p>Sam continued to follow her, taking the steps two at a time as she started making her way towards the forest. "Quinn!" he called out again as he started picking up his own pace to chase after her. The girl was fast, but he was faster and besides- it was February. It was nice and sunshiny out, but the air was still cool. If she was in any way having the same type of panic attack that he had seen, her lungs wouldn't cooperate for very long.<p>

And he was right.

Sam watched her just crumble to the ground and again his heart clenched. He made it to her side just a few moments later and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest. For a moment she struggled trying to push him away but he just held her as she sobbed.

Once she stopped fighting him, she buried her face in his chest, almost screaming as she fought to reel herself back in. She even took to punching her frustrations out into his chest, which he took without so much as a whimper. He was determined to help her through this.

It scared Sam though. He had never, _ever_ seen her get this distraught before. When they had dated, her anxieties never reached that point. He usually got to her just in time. Unfortunately, it was not the case this time around.

"Quinn," He said softly when her screams just dissolved into choked whimpers with the occasional cough or sob. She was still shaking like a leaf and he wasn't entirely sure if it was because of the cold air or because of the panic attack. "Quinn, look at me." he said, prying her away from his chest to get her to look at him. He looked deep into those eyes, those perfect hazel eyes and his heart broke for her. He could just _see_ everything she was feeling just but looking into her eyes.

"Quinn," he said again, "I need you to breathe, okay?" She took shuddering deep breaths, clenching her eyes shut again. When he felt that she was actually breathing normally again he pulled her back into his chest and buried his face into her hair.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn asked, her voice muffled by his shirt. Sam sighed and wrapped his arms around her tighter, hoping that she would warm up and stop shaking.

"I'm helping you," He replied, rubbing her bare arms.

"Why?"

"Because, I care about you, Q."

"Why?"

She sounded so broken to him. Her voice was barely above a whisper, which made it a strain for him to hear considering she was still buried into his chest.

"Quinn, you're my friend. You were there to help me, I'm going to be here to help you." He closed his eyes and listened to her breathing, now back to a more normal pace. "I don't think it was fair for Miss Corcoran to bring her here. She had to have known that it wouldn't be good for you..." Quinn shrugged.

"She doesn't think about me...she thinks about Beth. That's her job," she whimpered. Sam licked his lips. He absolutely hated hearing her like this. Like she had nothing else in the world to be strong for, to smile for. He felt her hands grip into the fabric of his shirt as if now that she had someone to hold her, she wasn't going to let it go. How long ago had it been since someone actually _held_ her?

* * *

><p>Quinn probably shouldn't have stayed in his arms after she had calmed down. But she couldn't help it. He was the one who initiated the embrace. Plus- now that she was on a more level understanding, she understood that it was <em>really<em> cold outside. Plus, if she was honest with herself, it was just really good to be back in Sam's arms.

Not many people took the time to help her before/during an 'episode.' In reality, not many people knew about the panic attacks. Just her parents and sister...and her ex boyfriends. Finn had witnessed the one when she got kicked out of her house, and he also saw one of her claustrophobic induced attacks. He didn't know about the panic attack she had when he broke up with her after the funeral. Puck noticed her go rigid after a particularly detailed doctor's appointment when being pregnant and what she would be experiencing during childbirth finally sunk in. That was one of her more mild ones though. Sam just witnessed the ones about her mom's drinking (which had happened more than once), and now this one.

One thing that Quinn learned about her relationship with Sam was that he never tried to fix it. Puck and Finn would just see her freaking out and then would try to do anything to just make her stop crying. They didn't realize that in order to get out of a panic attack, you had to let it run its course. There was no 'fixing' it. Once it started, you had to let it storm on. Sam got that. Which is why she noticed that whenever it happened, he would just hold her, and let his embrace comfort her. And then once it had passed _then_ he'd try to talk.

"It might be her job, but you know...she still knew what it would do...and if she didn't, _Puck_ sure as hell knows." Sam told her and and cringed. He was right- Puck knew that this would be torture for her.

"Puck isn't the one that screwed up though." she told him.

"People make mistakes, Quinn...and how is anyone supposed to expect you to try to grow from those mistakes if they keep rubbing it in your face?"

Quinn pulled away from him, and thankfully he didn't try to hold her back. She brushed he hair out of her eyes and let out a shuddering sigh. She didn't know how to respond to that. All her life, the way she was brought up, if you made a mistake it was held over your head and brought up any other time you did something wrong. The list would get longer and each lecture more debilitating to your self-esteem. You learned to make few mistakes, but no one was perfect. And in the Fabray household, as soon as that image was tarnished, there was no way of fixing it.

"Maybe I'm not supposed to grow from it." She replied, "Maybe I'm supposed to be tormented with this." She picked at the mud on her skirt and she could feel her lip trembling again. "Maybe this is just God's way of telling me that I don't deserve good things. Having my daughter looking at another woman the way she should look at me. Watching Finn and Rachel practically have eye-sex with each other every time one of them has a solo. Or...the way Puck looks at Shelby and knows that he can be Beth's father and that he will never be replaced. Or look at you watch over Mercedes the way you used to look at me..." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "Maybe this is just me being punished for being a bitch and for giving my virginity away before getting married, and shaming my family and cheating and trying to steal my baby away again and just in general being a horrible person."

* * *

><p>Sam listened to her list off the things that Quinn felt she was being punished for, and all the things that she felt were punishments. It especially pained him when she mentioned all of her ex boyfriends who were moving on to 'better things.' When she said what she did about him chasing after Mercedes he wanted to drop the act entirely, tell her how he really felt. Sure, he did like Mercedes. He did have feelings for her. But nothing compared to how he felt about Quinn. He wanted to tell her that so badly, but something in him told him now wasn't the time. He didn't want her to think that he was just trying to make her feel better because she was upset.<p>

"Quinn," he said quietly, wording carefully, "I've been to just about all of the same Church services that you have, and you and I both know that God doesn't punish us like this...not the way you think he does..." he figured going the religion route may be safe. "All of this stuff...it sucks and I know that you feel like it's all just coming at you. But you know...it is going to get better...high school isn't forever...and you know...God does have good things planned for you, but maybe this is is just his way of making you strong enough to do that stuff, and you know...stuff that will be rewarding for you and make all of this worth it for you."

He stared at Quinn. She didn't say anything. She just kept looking into her lap and wiping away the mud on her dress that was likely ruined now considering that it was mostly white. When it became clear that she wasn't going to say anything anymore he stood up and held his hand out to her. When she took it he pulled her to her feet and wrapped her up in another hug. "I meant it when I said that you deserve good things Quinn." He murmured to her before pulling away and looking back into those perfect eyes again. "And right now, I think the good things you deserve is some ice cream."

"Is that what guys think will make every girl problem disappear?" she asked, smiling for the first time since he started chasing her. He laughed, glad to know that he was the one that put it there.

"It works doesn't it?" and with that he lead her back towards the school to help her get her things and then make their way to his car.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: Here is the second chapter! I decided that this piece will be four chapters, not three. The fourth one will be a little more like an epilogue. I hope you all enjoy it- I was really amazed by all the wonderful reviews that the first chapter received! Please keep them coming! I love the input.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

After going and getting ice cream, Quinn just had Sam come back to her house to eat it.  
>Considering that it was the middle of winter, there wasn't an ice cream parlor around that was open. So they wandered the grocery store and Sam bought a pint of Ben &amp; Jerry's and then found themselves sitting on her kitchen floor passing it between the two of them, each with their own spoon.<p>

Quinn didn't exactly feel better. Her eyes hurt and her voice sounded hoarse from the screaming and crying. But the company was welcome. It allowed her to _not_ feel even more sorry for herself than she had before.

"Where's your mom?" Sam asked passing the pint back to her. She shrugged.

"I kind of stopped asking that myself," she replied taking a heaping spoonful of ice cream. "I gave up on trying to track her down, or expecting her to come home at a decent time...if she's home in the morning, I assume that it's all right." Her mother's alcoholism had reached new heights lately. She stopped asking when Judy Fabray would come home because even if she got an answer, she rarely saw it happen.

"So...are you just here alone all the time?" Sam asked.

"Not all the time..." Quinn mumbled, "Puck used to come over sometimes...and well...not many people from glee come over anymore...but I go out sometimes." Which was sort of true. She had taken to walking around the park at night when she just needed to think. She never had to report to her mother or anything when she went anywhere, so when she was home alone and she felt the need, she would bundle up and drive to the park. Life was fairly lonely for Quinn. She only had a handful of friends, and none of them were particularly close anymore.

"Were you and Puck...together?" When he asked that, she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He was asking a lot of questions and this one just had some sort of edge to it that she couldn't place.

"No. We weren't." she told him honestly. "At least not really...I think we subconsciously tried to be...but we'll never be more than friends. We just don't have that spark anymore."

She had something of a friends with benefits thing with Puck for a short while- before the Shelby thing. For a while, Puck was the only one Quinn could talk to about Beth. He was on the same page as her until he started developing feelings for the woman who adopted their daughter. And after that time she almost slept with him to get pregnant again- he didn't come over as often. Not because everything was awkward or they had ruined their friendship or anything like that. But he was invested in his daughter's life. Even if he wasn't in bed with Shelby- he took every chance to be with Beth.

* * *

><p>Sam hoped he wasn't being too obvious. He knew the question about Puck was a little risky, but he couldn't help but be relieved when she told him that there was nothing between her and Puckerman. He figured that something may have been brewing considering the circumstances, but he felt a little more relaxed when he learned that whatever was going on between them wasn't there anymore.<p>

"Is there anyone that you feel like you do have a spark with?" he asked tentatively. He knew he was walking on dangerous waters now, but since they were talking he was hoping that he could chalk this up to just catching up with her.

But she looked at him funny again, and then he saw some sort of emotion flash across her face. Her eyes went dark and began to look sad again as she turned her attention back to the ice cream. "I thought so...but.." She swallowed, "but, that's another thing I screwed up."

Sam wasn't a conceited man. He had very little confidence in anything, but when she said that he just _knew_ she was talking about him. He could see it in her face, in her eyes, in the way she seized up as she looked at him and then looked away to try to focus on something else.

"What if..." Sam ran a hand through his hair, "What if I told you that maybe that spark isn't gone a-and...and that maybe you didn't screw up? Or at least not as much as you think you did."

* * *

><p>Quinn whipped her head around and looked at Sam again. Why, why, <em>why <em>would he say that?

Her feelings for Sam never went away. She had known that the second she saw him walk into that choir room when Rachel and Finn found him in Kentucky. It wasn't _just_ some crazy idea to help win Beth back...she honest to God could not think of a better person she'd rather raise a child with. But aside from that...she knew that along with Beth, he was her perfect thing. He was the perfect thing that she destroyed. And she had hoped maybe she could fix things and have _two_ perfect things.

But no. That wasn't going to happen. He was hung up over Mercedes and their summer together before he moved. Not to mention, he thought she was crazy just like the rest of the school. He didn't say it in so many words, but she knew.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, suddenly not interested in Ben & Jerry. "You...you told me that you didn't want to be with me...twice."

"Okay first," Sam said, "I _never_ said I didn't want to be with you the first time around, Quinn. You didn't want to be with me-"

"That's not true! I told you to your face that I wanted to be with you, but you told me to just 'forget it.' I chose you and you went to Santana!" She shot back at him, feeling the tears well up in her eyes again. She faced a head of her with a set jaw, feeling his eyes on her. "You broke up with me. I know that I deserved it, but don't tell me that I didn't want to be with you...I was confused...a-and...I made a mistake...and I was trying to make it right...but you just listened to Santana and went with her instead. And I know it wasn't because you had any real feelings for her...you just got with her to get back at me, and she stole you away to get under my skin because that's what she does."

* * *

><p>Sam could feel his stomach drop a little bit when she started getting upset. This wasn't exactly how he had planned this. Not that he really planned it to begin with. But she was right. She had told him that she wanted to be with him but he had been to angry and hurt to believe her. Santana gave him an out, and she made it that even though he was broken hearted over Quinn, he wasn't going to be alone.<p>

"I'm sorry," he said. He reached over and took the ice cream from her and reached up to put it on the counter they were leaning against. "You're right. You did tell me that...and...I didn't give you a chance...I was just angry and hurt...and I wanted to hate you for it, but I just couldn't..." he licked his lips and sighed, "And every time I saw you with Finn after that, it killed me because it just made me think that maybe it was just a line to get me to stay. And Santana...God, Santana was a huge mistake. I shouldn't have been with her...but...I was hurting and she said she wanted me and I didn't want to be alone after all of that."

"I didn't want to be alone either." Quinn mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She drew her knees up and sighed, "I was with Finn because he said he wanted me. And I figured if I destroyed what I had with you for him, I might as well see if it was worth it."

"Was it?" he asked her. He hadn't expected the tears to start then. But she shook her head violently and clenched her eyes shut again.

"No." she cried, "The entire time we were together all he cared about was Rachel and how Rachel was feeling and whether or not Rachel would be upset by us being together, or if Rachel would hate seeing our prom posters. It was all about Rachel and very little about me. And then I just realized that I didn't love him either...I just thought that I could get back what we had, but I'm not even entirely sure it was there to begin with...we were together the first time because it was expected of us, the head cheerleader just _had_ to be with the Quarterback."

All of a sudden, the year that was spent after they broke up felt like this giant waste. They both spent more time being miserable than happy since then and he couldn't help but think maybe it would have been avoided if he had just listened to her. He should have heard her out that day in the hallway, but he didn't want to listen. Maybe she would have said something that would have changed his mind.

* * *

><p>For the second time that day Quinn was crying and for the second time that day, Sam just reached over and pulled her into his arms. She didn't fight him this time. Just hearing her melt down like that, over what happened between them...it made him just want to hold her. Not just because she was upset, but because he missed having her in his arms just because he could. He wanted that back and he wanted to see if she did too.<p>

"I'm sorry, Quinn..." Sam mumbled into her hair, "I was an idiot." He heard her start to protest, "No listen to me. Regardless of what happened...I should have listened to your side, instead of just hearing what Santana had to say and ending things like that...I'm not saying that the outcome would have been different...because I don't know...but I do know that I never stopped having feelings for you...I never stopped actually loving you..."

Quinn sat up at this and looked at him, her eyes puffy again, and she just looked at him with this confused look, "But..Mercedes.."

"I do like Mercedes...but it's always been you..."

A look crossed her face and Quinn almost glared at him, "But when I came to you a couple months ago you didn't want to be with me, Sam. That's_ twice_ you've rejected me. How can I believe that now after all of that-" Sam really didn't want her to be angry with him. This wasn't what it was supposed to be like- him confessing to her that he still loved her. He knew that if he let her go off on her rant, he'd probably never get another word in for the foreseeable future so he did the only thing he could think of.

So he kissed her. He took her face in both hands and kissed her full on the mouth.

At first she tensed up as if she was just going to push him away and start yelling at him again, but after a moment she relaxed and Sam felt it was safe to pull away, though in all honesty he didn't want to. It felt way too good to kiss her again.

"I told you no last time because I knew that you only wanted me because you wanted Beth back. No matter what you feel now- you weren't thinking about feelings for me- you were thinking about what would be good for you to get your baby back. It killed me to walk away from you that day, but if we got back together, I wanted it to be because we want each other, not because of popularity or because you think I would be a good dad to your daughter. I wanted it to be real this time."

* * *

><p>Quinn just looked at Sam, half distracted by how her lips were now tingling since Sam kissed her. She always knew she missed him, but a kiss- even a kiss that was meant to shut her up-from him was probably the most electrifying experiences to her. Though she though she had fireworks with Finn before, with Sam it was like nothing else she ever felt. There <em>was<em> no description to what she felt when Sam kissed her.

Though a little hazy, she listened to what he told her. About not wanting to get back together with her with ulterior motives. No popularity ambitions, not so that Beth would have two parents. Nothing like that. It had to be real between them.

"But Mercedes..." She replied, quietly.

"I focused on my feelings for her so that I wouldn't be tempted to go running back to you when you weren't ready for something real between us," he explained to her. "Like I said before, I do have feelings for her...but nothing, _nothing_ like what I have for you. I'm in love with you Quinn, I always have been."

Quinn could feel her eyes tearing up again, but not taking them off of his "I'm not like who I used to be Sam...I'm better."

"I know." he replied.

"I don't cheat..."

"I know."

"I want to go to Yale..."

"I'll follow you wherever."

"I still have some problems though..."

"And I will be with you every step of the way to fix them."

"I'm going to need you more than anything."

"Good. Make me feel useful." He chuckled.

"I still love you," She whispered, reaching over and taking his hand, playing with his fingers.

"Thank God."

"I want to be with you, Sam..." She finally said. Sam's face broke out into a smile.

"I thought you'd never ask." And with that she felt him pull her in for another kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: Finally! This took me much longer than I thought it would to write- but then again, this is the longest chapter out of all of them. This is essentially the conclusion- but you do have a nice epilogue coming up next!<strong>


	4. Epilogue

**_Three Months Later_**

"Quinn, relax." Sam was standing outside of the bathroom in the apartment that Quinn had recently moved into as she re-did her make up for the tenth time that day. She tended to do a lot of touching up of eyeliner when she was nervous he noticed.

"I _can't_ relax, Sam!" she replied back to him, reapplying her mascara in the mirror. "This is my last chance. My last shot at being able to fix this."

Sam moved to lean against the doorway and look at her through the mirror. "Everything is going to be fine. Okay? You've worked hard for this. You're supposed to enjoy it."

Since that day in the kitchen, Sam and Quinn had made leaps and bounds in their relationship. They took things slow- not wanting everyone around them to just think they were jumping into a relationship that neither of them were really invested it. They went out on dates, did a couple more duets in Glee. Though now it was as if the year apart had never happened. To them, they felt like they just picked up where they left off.

About a month after they got back together, Quinn had turned 18. She could officially move out of her house and be away from her mother, which not surprisingly did wonders for her anxiety condition. She still had minor episodes- mostly over school, but she hadn't had a full blown attack since that day on the cross country trail.

Sam spent a lot of time at the apartment. Since he wasn't living with his family, he had spent a lot of time on the Hudson's couch. They didn't really give him a whole lot of rules except to mainly tell them if he would be coming around that night. As time went by, he was spending more time at Quinn's than anywhere else. It was a temporary place anyway, because come- August they'd both be moving to Connecticut where Quinn would be attending Yale for Theater and Sam would be going to a Community College in New Haven. He wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do with his life just yet, but he pretty much decided that as long as Quinn was a part of it, he would be good with anything.

Though their relationship was what it was, and they were essentially living together- there was no sex. Both of them agreed that they were not in the right place for it, Quinn still being emotionally troubled in certain ways, and Sam wanting to make sure that when they did approach that stage, there would be no regrets. Though they both figured that it would happen sooner rather than later, they were both happy with the pace they were at.

Quinn finally finished her make up, for what seemed to be the final time and then turned to Sam and shrugged. "I look okay, right?" she asked

Sam smiled warmly at her and took her hands pulling her closer to him, "You look beautiful. You always do. Now let's go- there's this thing about birthday parties in which they give out cake and you know I can't resist cake." He teased. Quinn rolled her eyes at him and he laughed before giving her a quick peck on the mouth, "C'mon gorgeous."

* * *

><p>Quinn had spent the entire car ride fidgeting. That was a new thing for her. Once she started getting to the point where she would have panic attacks when she felt edgy, she now fidgeted. It wasn't exactly a welcome change, since she was used to being poised and in control at all times- but it was a million times better than the scratching and not being able to breathe. And a lot less painful.<p>

At one point, Sam took his hand off the steering wheel and took hers in order to stop her constant adjusting of her skirt or playing with the tissue paper of the gift she was holding in her lap. Quinn sighed and looked out the window. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in May and they were on their way to the local park for a birthday party that Quinn never thought she'd receive an invite to.

It took time, _ a lot_ of time, but not long after she and Sam reunited, Quinn made the first steps in making amends with Shelby- with Sam's encouragement. It started out with having lunch occasionally. Quinn had to prove to Shelby that she was different and that she wouldn't be trying any of the same things that she did before, what with CPS and all that. Even to this day, Quinn still hadn't seen Beth in person. She got pictures and the occasional video text. But there was no babysitting, no seeing her in person.

Until the last week when Shelby invited her to Beth's second birthday party. It was going to be a picnic with Shelby's family, and Puck. It wasn't going to be big or anything, but Quinn was going to participate in Beth's birthday and that was a big deal.

The pulled into the parking lot of the park and Quinn took a deep breath. She could see the small gathering of people just ahead of them. She spotted Puck's mohawk, and Shelby's long hair. There were other people that she didn't know, obviously friends and family of Shelby. People who knew Quinn's daughter before she could.

"You okay?" Sam's voice brought her out of her thoughts. She nodded and opened the door and got out of the car, waiting for Sam to join her before walking over to the group. If he hadn't been there with her she probably would have chickened out or something. This meeting was so much more than her first meeting with Beth. No ulterior motives, not sinister plans. She was actually meeting her daughter.

The finally reached the table and Shelby turned around, smiling- her attitude towards Quinn had gotten much better over the previous weeks. "Hey guys, just in time!" She smiled.

Quinn nodded, smiling, not sure what to say as Sam squeezed her hand reassuringly. Just before she was about to crane her neck to look for the little girl, Puck had stepped around Shelby, holding Beth in one arm.

Quinn looked at Beth, taking her in. Her hair was a little bit longer, but it was so curly it still looked short. Her legs were longer, her face still chubby and her eyes still ever-observing. Quinn stepped forward a bit and took Beth's hand in hers, "Hey, pretty girl." she smiled, her eyes brimming with tears again. "Happy Birthday."

Then Puck did something that Quinn hadn't expected. Well, she did, but not right that second. "Here, Q." He said, lifting Beth up and placing her in Quinn's arms.

At first Quinn was afraid Beth would start crying like she had the last time Quinn got to hold her. Beth looked at her, as if deciding whether or not this was something she was going to be okay with. After a few moments of analyzing Quinn's face, Beth reached out and hooked her fingers in Quinn's bottom lip. Quinn laughed, glad to have achieved approval from the little girl and held her close. "Oh baby girl, I love you." She whispered into the blonde curls.

Beth didn't leave Quinn's hip much through out the party. Sam held her for a bit, using his impressions and general silliness to get giggle out of the toddler. They had cake and Quinn got to hold her as Shelby blew out the candles. Presents were opened and Beth apparently loved the stuffed lamb that was in the box next to the golden locket that would be saved for when she was older.

Soon, far too soon for Quinn's liking though, it was time to leave. Quinn said her goodbyes to Beth, again breaking into tears- but this time she was leaving with plans to watch Beth while Shelby went to a conference in Columbus. The hesitation now gone between the two women.

* * *

><p>Sam smiled when they climbed into bed that night. In their pajamas, comfortable, ready to sleep so that they could go to church the next morning. It had been a great day for them and Sam was really happy to see Quinn smiling so much.<p>

As the turned off the lights, Sam went to assume his usual position of laying behind Quinn his arm wrapped around her waist but this time he raised his eyebrows when Quinn told him to turn over on his other side.

"Why?" he asked.

"Just do it," She laughed, pushing on his shoulder. He did as he was told and turned around. He smirked to himself when he felt her smaller arms wrap around his torso, her face tucked into his shoulder, her being the big spoon for once.

"Why the change of pace?" he asked again.

"Well...you're the one that always holds me. It's time that I return the favor," she mumbled, hugging him tight.

Sam fell asleep that night with a smile on his face.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: There we go! It's done. This was the epilogue. I really hope you all liked this story and I very much thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really enjoyed writing this! I'll be sure to make more Fabrevans fics too! And if anyone has a prompt that they'd like me to fill feel free to send me a private message- I'm always looking for new ideas!<strong>

**xoxo**


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